Being a Starving Graphic Artist Sucks

A Funny Christmas Edition of Bad Photoshop Work: The Loin King

Hey hope you guys have been having a terrific holiday season!

Before you get any further into the post, yes I know I misspelled the movie title (keep reading as to why).

For Christmas I bought my wife the 2 disc special edition of Disney's The Lion King - one of her favorite movies. I was especially proud that I was able to score a "new" shrink-wrapped copy off of eBay for just $13!

After we'd unwrapped all of our other gifts, we went back and opened the DVD box to peruse through the souvenir booklet that always comes inside of special edition DVDs. My wife goes through the booklet first, which I suppose this was only fair, it was after all her gift.

After she got through the booklet - and merrily making comments about all of the great features, she gave the booklet to check out. "Hmm, looks pretty cool", I remarked, but as I sat looking at thing there were several design oddities that didn't look right to me:

• First, the vast difference in color from the booklet's cover (show on right side) compared to the DVD cover (on left side). Can you see the booklet cover on the right has a weird green cast to it?
• Why would there be a hyphen between the words "All New"?
• Lastly, beyond the color discrepancy of the 2 covers (and hyphen issue), I critically remarked, "Hey, what the heck? The pictures in this booklet were fuzzy!" It was like the designer intentionally went on to the web to pick off 72dpi, low resolution images. Why would a Disney designer do this if she/he had access to the originals? Didn't make a lot of sense to me - I couldn't understand how Disney could turn out such a poorly designed project...

The coup de grace for me was putting down the booklet and checking out the graphics on the DVD case - it was there I found the answer to my, "Does Disney suck at design now?" riddle.

I went ahead and scanned the back graphic on the DVD case for you...see anything goofy? Yes, not withstanding the grammatical errors, I've gone ahead and highlighted some of the designer's "oversights" - be prepared to laugh...or get sick:

• The King of All Animated FIEMS?!?!?
• WIth it unforgettable...
• Why is the UPC/ISBN mark so far to the left - leaving almost 1/2" of empty space over on the right?
• Check out the kerning in the word "you'll", there's enough space to drive a truck through there.
• Speaking of the word "you'll", check out the weight of the lowercase letter, "l" - it's lighter than all of the other letters.
• How about Elton John's smash hit, "The Cirlce of Life"?!?!?
• At the bottom you'll see, "Bring a Themme Park" - not sure this has two "m's" in it
• Finally, my personal favorite, one of the lines in Elton John's song, "there is more to be seen that has ever beer seen..." Beer - what the heck is the word beer doing in there? Sounds like a Freudian slip to me, the designer must have been eagerly anticipating happy hour later in the evening.

Well, I am sure you guys have already guessed as I did - perhaps the reason why I got the special edition of The Lion King for $13 is that it was a pirated version - and a bad one at that.

Bad Photoshop work, bad color management and image reproduction, and spelling mistakes that would embarrass a 6th grader - guys, the next time you get a designer to help you pirate DVD's make sure they can fricken spell - jackasses.

BOGO Sale to Make 2010 the Best Year Ever for Your Freelancing Business

Hey guys, if you were looking to start the New Year off right and you're determined to make 2010 the best year for your freelancing business - I want to do my part to help you.

Between now and January 1st you can take advantage of my buy one, get one free sale, here's how it works:

• Purchase the BASAS or VKFU eBook and get the other one absolutely free.
• Purchase the Work Smarter NOT Harder Contract Package and receive both BASAS and VKFU eBooks for free.

Small Print Garbage:

• Offer ends January 2nd, 2010, MST.
  
  
• This offer cannot be combined with any other offer. 
  
  
• Once you've made your purchase you'll want to shoot me a quick email indicating you want to take advantage of the buy one, get one free sale.
  
  
• Read the books, and get ready to kick some arse in 2010!!!
  

Click here, or the Pantone chips to the right to get started.

How did Your Freelancing Design Business Do in 2009? How Do You Intend on Improving in 2010?

As the holiday season and the end of the year approach, this is a good time for reflection over the last year. Around this time of Christmas trees, church services, holiday treats and presents, I find myself asking some difficult questions about how I did over the last year, what I want ’10 to look like, and what I’ll need to do to make it happen. I would encourage you to do the same. With many clients more preoccupied with their families than their business, this is the perfect time for you to take inventory of where you’ve been and where you want to take your business in this next year.

The trouble is that most people either fear change or they think it’s too hard – you’ll find some of your potential clients are this way. If you ask them, “Do you plan on growing your business this year?”, they’ll of course respond with a resounding “Yes!” If you then ask “What steps are you going to take to make that a reality?”, you’ll typically get a blank stare followed by “Hmm, I don’t know.”

Wishful thinking is nice to have but it’s no way to build a successful business. Blind hope without planning or action is worthless – I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. I would encourage you to look over the last year and evaluate how your business is done.

We’re you as successful as you wanted to be?
Did you make significantly more money and bring in more clients than last year?
If you plan on ’10 really being your break out year, how do you intend to do it?
What will you do different or better in ’10 than you did in ’09?

It’s important to be honest with yourself: if you’re comfortable doing freelance on the side as a hobby, that’s fine, or if you’re happy with the rate you’re being paid, that’s okay too. If these are things you want to change, I would encourage you to take different action steps in ’10 rather than doing the same things over and over and just hoping they will work.

Ask yourself what steps you’ve taken over the last year to grow your business – how have they worked? You may be surprised to realize that many of the things you thought were helping didn’t do very much at all.

If you’ve bought new Photoshop books, occasionally participated in online forums, subscribed to a couple of free eNewsletters, subscribed to some RSS feeds or whatever you’ve done, ask yourself how much have they helped your business grow and how closer have they moved you to success?

If you’re not getting the results you want, maybe it’s time to try something new for the New Year - just something to think about. If I don't get a chance to talk with you before Friday, have a Merry Christmas.

Creative Freelancers: A Great Resource to Use if Your Clients Assume You're a IT Expert too

My buddy Scott sent this over to me a few days ago, he's not a designer but is frequently called on to troubleshoot people's computer problems.

I am not sure why clients assume that just because web/graphic designers use computers, they can acutely troubleshoot any hardware or software issue...no matter how obscure.

Anyway, if you find yourself in this position frequently, free free to use the diagram over to the right. As it indicates, you'll want to post this in an easy to see spot to "educate" all of your friends, family, colleagues and clients.

My buddy found the original here.

PS - thanks to Josh, AIPX grad who said this about Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers last week, "I've been meaning to tell you that I've finished the Verbal Kung Fu book (quick and easy ready, i like that!), and it was awesome! I've recommended it to many people already, especially to those that I hear complain about clients..."

Freelance Designers - What Does Being Business or Marketing Savvy Designer Mean?

One of the first freelancers that ever bought the Being a Starving Artist Sucks book wrote in a few weeks after checking out my design firm's web site and wanted to know what a "business savvy designer" really was. This is a term that I used to describe my skill set and the value that I bring to the table for clients...while this type of designer is a little less common, I am not silly or arrogant enough to think I am the only one that can say this - far from it. Heck, you might be a business savvy designer as well.

I wanted to share my connotation of what a business savvy designer with you because they are almost always in demand since they provide business owners what they really want (it's not "good" design) - it's sales and revenue.

This isn't to say that if you aren't a business savvy freelancer/designer that you have to be one to be successful - you don't. For the skill set the good Lord has provided me, it's worked out really well.

Here's what I would describe as a business savvy designer:

• You understand the role of profits in business.
• You design creative projects that are focused on bringing in sales & revenue first, rather than expressing artistic creativity.
• Every detail of the projects you is based on the feedback you've received from your client's customers, rather than what you felt like designing that day.
• You can easily sell your design concept to the client and articulate why it will help her/him attract and bring in the customers she/he wants.
• You understand your role as the hired professional, and you control the creative and approval process, not your client.
• You can write compelling content that will attract the client's target market; you can then get them to take action. (This skill takes time to develop).
• You put in some initial market research time in learning about your client's culture, their competition, their clients and where they want to be positioned among those variables BEFORE you start designing.
• If it's possible, you interact directly with your client's customers throughout the creative process to ensure you're designing a project that will resonate with them.
• You know what questions to ask your client's customers to get the feedback you'll need to design a project that will resonate with them.
• You measure your success in terms of how many sales (how much revenue) your client brought in rather than how creative the project was.
• You have a proven track record of being able to generate revenue and sales for clients through your creative projects. Your clients consider you an investment rather than an expense.
• You do what's best for clients at all times. You actually become an advocate for your client and her/his customers. You base your production and creative decisions first on whether or not this will help your client or not rather than your own.

PS - Thanks for the question Patricia; I hope you found this helpful, please retweet or share this if you enjoyed it.

Graphic Designers: Why Your Clients Don't Provide Testimonials But Will Complain All Day Long

I bought an Xbox 360 game off of eBay recently...yes, sadly I still do occasionally play video games at my age...I am getting therapy for it ...but I digress.

In about a week the game arrived - looks in good shape and plays without incident - pretty much what I expected, so I am a happy customer and I can move on with my life.

Within a few days of receiving the game I received an "urgent" email from shipper asking me to leave positive feedback for a great transaction. A week or so later I received 1-2 follow ups asking me the same.

I did finally get around to it, but in all honesty I wasn't all that excited about doing it. The item came as described and didn't have any defects - essentially I got what I paid for, no more and no less. I am not sure that warrants me leaving great feedback for someone, maybe some other people do.

I write this not to slam on an eBay seller but to give you a glimpse into your client's mind when you've finished their project. If you're looking for them shout to the heavens how great your work is, you may need to do a little more than you promised you would. Maybe you provide them with more attention, a bonus or two or add something to the project that makes it memorable. See Seth Godin's book, "Free Prize Inside".

If you don't do provide someone with outstanding service, design, results, quality or attention...or make their project memorable, how can you expect them to be eager to write you a testimonial and tell others how great you are? You can't.

Personally I think all of us should be commended for doing a "good" job, but that's not how most of the world works. Since you and I aren't going to be able to change it, we need to adapt our approach to ensure that we do get testimonials.

When you get right down to it, most of the time people have all day to complain about something, but no time to tell others how good something is...unless that good is more like GREAT! When you're working with clients, do you do anything memorable, personal or authentic that would get them TO WANT to tell others or give you a testimonial?

Creative Freelancers: What Tony Robbins Taught Me About Getting Curious Rather Than Getting Even with Jackass Clients

Over the years I've been writing for freelancers I've received mail designers comment that they live vicariously through me because I have often put clients in their place - I can "stick it to the man" I suppose...Hey, no one wants to be a heavy bag with eyeballs for some client to beat up at will.

But this article isn't about how I drop kicked a nasty client; I actually wanted to share with you an attitude I strive to have about people, empathy and judgment, an attitude that may not come out in my writing as much as I would like...

I am not sure how I picked up a couple of mp3 tracks of Tony Robbins, world renowned motivational speaker; nevertheless I found them in my mp3 music subdirectory so I decided to check them out. In one of the tracks (I am not even sure what program it was) Tony talks about getting curious about people rather than immediately judging them. He tells a story of going to a dinner party where he sat next to a woman that everyone considered a witch (figuratively).

Instead of judging her on others opinions Tony got curious about why she was acting in such a way that turned other people off - he found out that she had a tremendous amount of pain in her life and was having trouble dealing with it. Good story...and good for Tony - that was a classy move.

As freelancers we work with all kinds of people, all with their own unique set of issues, personalities and problems. And let's face it; some of these people really are jackasses - that's just the way that they are. They act like jerks for no reason.

But I've found more often than not there's always a reason why someone is acting a certain way - unfortunately that reason is usually hidden from others to see.

Take for example a moronic driver that's weaving in and out of traffic during rush hour...what a jerk! It's easy to think about rolling the window down and yelling something, flashing your lights or laying on the horn, but think about it for a second, could there be a reason why is he/she driving like a maniac? Maybe this person is a jackass...maybe his wife is about to give birth, maybe they're an off duty police officer rushing to a crime in progress.

Whatever is going in their lives and in their mind, you have no idea what's going on...I don't either, and that's why its important to become curious about someone's situation before leaping to judgment.

I try to carry this same attitude when it comes to my clients (sometimes I do better than others). They may react badly to a project being delayed at the printer's, having their email go down for a couple of hours or have a fit when their logo comes out a warm instead of a cold blue on their business card.

Maybe they don't have a good reason for acting badly to you (or me) as their freelancer; I am not trying to defend bad behavior. People should always be treated with respect, but the fact of the matter is we don't often know what's really going on in our client's lives, so it might not be wise to jump to the conclusion that they're just being a jerk. If we do take the time to get to understand our client's position before rushing to judgment we might quickly change our opinion about them and their behavior.

Get curious about people, guys.
Thanks for the good advice Tony.

The first honorary black belt in Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers goes to...a freelancer in South Africa?!?!

Yep. I am just as surprised as you, but Roger, a freelancer in Johannesburg, South Africa emailed me and shared how he'd used and unlocked some of the secrets to Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers.

Instead of me telling the story, I'll let him, in his own words...

Why did you choose to learn the art of Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers?
"I finally decided to buy because I was just about to send an invoice to a client who has been stalling paying for a long time - and I need the cash! I can either berate him - which might make me feel slightly better and him quite worse, but lead to no payment - or come up with a better way of communicating. I hope to find something in your book!"

What have you learned from your training, grasshopper? What secrets did you unlock?
"I'm quite intrigued (from a communication perspective) on the structure of the language used in Verbal Kung Fu. I've done some studies in linguistics and notice that you use what's called a "double bind" quite a lot. That's when you give someone a choice, but both options are ones which work for you. Something like, "Do you want to grab coffee now or in 10 minutes time?" There's no real choice about having coffee - just when to do it. It's cunning! But fair :)

Anyway, I've noticed a lot of double binds in Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers. You'd like a specific outcome which serves you as well as gives information to the client. So you give the choice of (a) or (b) explaining your reasoning. No matter which one the client chooses, you're satisfied. However, if the client says, "I don't like either of those options," then you have to think of something else. Of course, you don't want the options to be too one-sided: they've got to be fair and allow the client to choose how they'd like to work with you."

How have you put your skills to the test, my student?
"So far I'm loving the books - I've dove right in and have learned a lot. I was able to verbally solve the problem a client was having with payment (i.e. he wasn't paying!) and he's promised to pay me in two installments. I don't think I'd have been able to do that if I hadn't read Verbal Kung Fu."

Ahh, sensei very proud of you, Roger! By unlocking the secret of the "double bind" technique AND successfully using Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers in combat against an unfair client, you have proven yourself a true dragon warrior! Excellent.

Seriously...Roger figured out one of the techniques in Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers called the "double bind" that virtually works every time. In fact, most people have no idea its being done to them! It's sort of like the Jedi Mind Trick for the real world. You'll find this works in your favor almost every time, providing that:

1. You are presenting reasonably fair options
2. You're dealing with a somewhat reasonable person

If you're feeling like you're getting taken advantage of (perhaps you're an introvert or just don't like conflict), or maybe just feel like you're at a big disadvantage in dealing with tough clients - do something about it today. Think about checking out Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers. It's a must for anyone who's been bullied or is being bullied by a client...and isn't going to take it anymore.

PS - My Grandmother should never have bought me all of those Star War toys when I was young...anyway, congrats to you Roger, use your new-found skills for good.

PPS - All of this talk about good clients and not-so-good clients...check out Seth Godin's take on what makes a good client (you may wish to share this with your clients!)

Graphic Designers: The Truth About Sub-Contracting Through Another Creative Firm or Placement Agency

When I first started freelancing I tried to bring some work in by teaming up with an employment agency that specifically placed creative professionals. What a match huh? I am a creative professional, I know...or think I have talent, and these people can bring work to me - it's perfect!

Well I found out it's not so perfect, and after going through this story you'll have a better idea of how to protect yourself if you decide to go that route as well.

I contacted the agency by email (I sent them a quick cover letter). They looked at my online portfolio and asked me to come in for an interview and to take a few timed tests on my Adobe software skills and comfort levels.

During the interview of course the topic of money was bound to come up, and it did. The interviewer asked, "So what's the lowest amount you would take per hour?

Tough question...if you're too high it'll prevent you from getting some jobs, if you're too low then you might be asked to take on some lower paying projects. I wasn't prepared and ended up blurting out, "Twenty-five dollars." Oh jeez, that was stupid (but more on that later). To make a long story short, the entire process took about 4 hours.

A few days later I got a call from the agency, they had a position they'd like me to interview for. All right! They told me a little about the company and what I'd be doing, and together we set up a time I could go in and interview - end of conversation. Hours later it dawned on me that I was so excited about the interview that I'd forgotten to ask how much the job paid (it was a big company so I figured it would be pretty good).

I emailed the agency, "By the way, I know we’d talked about my floor being $25/hr., what we’re these guys offering or is that something they will address while I am there?"

A couple of minutes later I received an email back, "$25/hr."

How odd...this company was paying the EXACT amount I said was the lowest I would take. Kind of an unusual coincidence, don't you think?

Moving ahead in the story, at roughly the same time they found this position, they found another client to work for and we set up an interview. I then asked how much this new company was paying - and surprise, again it was $25/hr!

Hmm, do you get the feeling that ALL of the jobs this agency sets me up with will only pay $25/hr? I do...and I know that the company's/clients are willing to pay more but the agency will keep me at the $25/hr. so they can make more.

I am a little slower than most people so it took me a while to figure out what was going on here - this is what you need to be aware of when working with one of these agencies...

• I told the agency that I would be "content" with making $25/hr
• The agency (I found out) actually bills the client at between $100-$150 an hour (of course they should be making a profit, but wow, that's a big profit)
• The agency's goal is to get me out there to work at the lowest rate I'll accept so they make more money per hour. If they negotiate a deal with a client paying them $150/hr and get a designer to work for $25/hr, they are making $125/hr...wow!

The fact of the matter was the agency made it seem like my pay was based on how much THE CLIENTS were willing to pay, and that's simply not true. The amount the client's were willing to pay had very little to do with what I was offered, I was offered what THE AGENCY was willing to pay - which was the lowest I would accept.

I could go on and on about this but the bottom line is, when you're sub-contracting with an agency or another creative freelancing firm, understand that it's a business relationship. These agencies are out to maximize THEIR profits (and there's nothing wrong with that), they're goal is not to make you rich but to make money for the agency...and despite how friendly they may appear, they often don't have your best interests at heart.

Of course you may get lucky and find a great agency - I am not saying they're heartless or bad to work with, but no freelancer will ever become rich from just doing sub-contracting work.

Bad Graphic Design and Marketing...Turkey Comes Early This Year

Hey if there was any question whether or not graphic designers still have a place in this world, check out what I just got in the mail today. Yes, when business owners think this is looks good (and many do), there will always be a place for talented designers.

Now before you go on, I have to tell you that I did obviously swap the name and contact information out, but I did stay true to the original design - which was pretty bad.

WARNING: I would not suggest you look directly at the design to the right, shield your eyes or wear UV protected sunglasses.

Every year foolish business owners that I've met throughout my career send me handful of these templatized, poorly designed pieces of trash, all "wishing" wishing me a happy holidays. Rubbish.

Seriously...let's call this "friendly gesture" what it really is: a really cheap, uninspired way for the sender to try to build business. In fact, I haven't heard from this guy in over a year. He's never called, never sent a referral my way, and in his note he thanks me for "my business and/or referrals", I haven't done business with him or sent him a referral. What the heck?!?

I know...I know, I am probably being a bit rough on the guy, especially when it's the holiday season. I see so much of this bulk mail garbage over the holidays I suppose I just get tired of it, and check out this one's design...jeez.

• Is the eagle on the note solely there to distract me from the poor typography?
• See the space between "referrals." and "Wishing"? You could drive a truck through it.
• This guy managed to get a widow and an orphan in just 3 sentences. Wow, that's bad.
• One word: tracking

In shifting focus to the other "masterpiece", do I start with the eagle now making the logo hard to read or the haphazard way design element were just splattered on the page? Maybe my favorite item in this design is the red "Referrals Appreciated!" road sign plunked right in the middle of the space - brilliant, that will definitely bring in business, won't it?

Enough said, I am starting to feel ill just looking at this. But on the bright side, this is just one more thing I have to be thankful for...my clients aren't sending anything like this out. I hope yours aren't either :)

Happy Thanksgiving guys, feel free to pass this along (tweet it or whatever) if it made you laugh.