Freelance Graphic Design Humor: 10 Ten Question Bombs I'd Like to Drop on a Demanding Client

Getting ticked off and or squabbling with clients is never the answer (that's why I came up with Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers)...still, I often think it would be funny to drop a bomb on a client that's clearly trying to get the best of me - just to see the look on their stunned face.

Here are a few things my brain's thought up but I've never said to a client:

1. If it's so easy to do, why don't you fire Photoshop up and get to it?

2. You don't question your dentist or mechanic while they're working, so why do you presume to think you know more than me when it comes to design?

3. What would you say to one of your customers that contacted you and said, why don't you do the work for me and I'll pay you if I like it? Why then would you ask me to do it?

4. If your past designer was so good, why aren't you still working with her/him?

5. I know you like your logo but I've got to ask, did your son or daughter design it?

6. What's more important to you: bringing in customers/sales or getting your way?

7. Why would you hire an expert like me and then tell me exactly what to do instead of letting me do what I do best?

8. You mentioned that this shouldn't take much time to finish, how exactly do you know how long it will take?

9. If you don't want to put any money down up front that's okay - I'll take your wedding ring or car as collateral, which one would you rather leave with me?

10. If your business idea was that good, why would it make sense to partner up with someone...why wouldn't you just pay the designer and reap ALL of the profits when the idea takes off?

Please RT this post if it made you laugh :)

PS - Stumbled on these reviews for Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers.
Thanks guys!! 

PPS - This was an interesting article I stumbled on in the NYT about freelancing (it was a while back but still relevant): http://is.gd/ndNo.

Comments

[Noah]

Right on. I am so sick of clients like this!

[Jeremy Tuber]

Ah thanks for the shout Noah, people like this will ALWAYS exist, as a freelancer you want to learn how to effectively deal with them or find another profession :)

[Empire Elements]

Hi,

I believe you are doing a really good job educating and helping people out who want to pursue their career in the area of web designing. It is through your words that one can gain a lot of information and motivation.

I pray that you keep doing the good work.

Thanks

Angela

[Jeremy Tuber]

Thank you for your encouragement and kind words, Angela...and prayers are always welcome :)

Thank you take a moment out of your day to provide me some motivation, please come back and visit me soon!