A Real Life Email that Screams to Creative Freelancers, "I Am a Bad Client!"

I received this inquiry in my email box several months ago, I am guessing this guy jumped on to a top job site, dug up a bunch of designer's contact info and sent out a mass email, hoping to get a few candidates to help him. With the job market kind of in the tank I am sure this guy ended up getting some poor sucker to respond to his job vacancy, but I promise you it wasn't me. No, I wouldn't fault or belittle a designer who responded to this, I'd just caution her/him that this guy sounds like a bad client to work for (there are several warning signs).

Below you'll see this guy's email in its entirety; you'll see my comments in parenthesis / italic.

Please allow this email to serve as a request for a talented, experienced Art or Design Director to redesign our firm’s website, www.Accidents-R-US.com (not really their web site). ("Please allow this email to serve as a request..."who talks like this? Sounds like someone trying to sound more important than they really are.)
Requirements:
1.  at least 5 years of experience

2.  extensive advertising and graphic design knowledge/qualifications

3.  a portfolio of work that was exclusively done by the consultant, as well as references

4.  intuition/guts/imagination (Okay, I can understand intuition and imagination for a web design project, but "guts" is an interesting word choice that leads me to believe this client really doesn't know anything about design - just a hunch).

5.  common sense (Are there a lot of people that honestly believe they don't have common sense, even of they don't. Is there really a need to list this as a requirement) ?

6.  integrity

7.  articulate/attention to detail/follow best practices.

8.  Most important (If this is the most important, why is it listed #8):  We do not wish to provide any real input or direction. (It's essential, whether they like it or not, that clients are involved in helping to establish a direction, as well as providing input throughout the project). In my mind, this eliminates a web designer because he/she would work with the ideas from either a marketing team or person. (Can someone tell me what this means? I don't get it, and in any case it doesn't sound all that positive).

I want someone that’s sharp, intuitive, has advertising savvy, and will do all of the thinking and brainstorming for me (I don't know about you, but the "I want" kind of frightens me into thinking we've got a demanding client on our hands. "Do all the thinking for me", is this guy an idiot?!? Why is this bolded)? Can you put yourself in the shoes of an injured person and then design a website for that person. (This is a question that's stated as a sentence or fact. He probably should have used a question mark, and the sentence really isn't complete). Know we have lots of content and a usability study will be completed at the beginning of the week. (This last sentence makes no sense).

If interested, please respond by email only (no phone calls, please), with a resume/portfolio, pay expectations, and anything else you believe is important.  Can you answer the question people ask us, “why should we use your services?” (This sentence makes no sense). Serious responses only. (Is it necessary to include this in there? Is he expecting non-serious responses? As if his language and ignorance wasn't enough, this statement will surely scare away a lot of designers that might have applied).

While money is a consideration, the key factor is the RIGHT PERSON to develop a long-term relationship. (Loose translation, we're not complete tight-wads, but if you're too expensive we'll move on...even if you are talented).
Your kind attention is greatly appreciated. (Lawyer lingo here I suppose...who talks like this)?