Being a Starving Graphic Artist Sucks

From The Practical to the Absurd - 10 Ways You Can Tell a Potential Client to Get Lost

A buddy of my emailed me with this suggestion, seems like freelancers everywhere could use a little help in this area. Below is a quick list of out's you can use when the client or project doesn't appeal to you - some of these responses will of course be more effective than others.

1. I'm going to pass this time. Good luck in your search.

2. Based on your project specs this might not be the right fit for me.

3. I appreciate you taking a moment to educate me on exactly what you believe this project will require in terms of time, skill and energy. It is overwhelmingly evident that the 1 credit course you took in Art Appreciation at the community college is paying off. 

4. No graphics for you!

5. While I might be able to pick up the project, I might not be the best fit for what you're looking for. In all honesty, you might want to continue to look to find someone who might be a better fit.

6. I'd like to do the project, and it looks like I might be a good fit; however, for the amount of time and energy I'll need to invest to ensure you get the results you're looking for, I don't believe the budget you've allocated will cover my time - does your budget leave room for some flexibility. 

7. While I applaud you for doing some price shopping at the local high school's art department and Kinkos, I am afraid I am not going to be able to compete and do the project for 2 buttons, a box of Junior Mints and an expired Arby's coupon...but thank you for the offer.

8. I'd like to help but I am running Adobe CS4 and it's not backwards compatible with any of your files.

9. This isn't exactly my area of specialty, but you might want to try (refer a friend/colleague or some other firm). I believe they'll do a terrific job for you.

10. With my current client workload I won't be able to accept any new projects at this time; I will be able to take them after (pick a date from the reasonable to the absurd).

Have any others you'd like to add to the list?
Send in a comment!

PS - Thanks for the idea for the post Scott.

Freelancing Graphic Design Advice You Can't Live Without: Who's Side are You on When Prospects Call?

I called careerbuilder.com yesterday and spoke to one of their sales reps on the telephone about hiring some freelancers on board. The rep answered the phone in an unenthusiastic, "I can't believe I have to take another call" tone. He then (in his most convincing tone) informs me that his goal for the day was to provide me with "exceptional service".

Well despite the uninspired start, I decide to give this guy a shot and ask him some questions about upgrading my account. To his credit he did answer a few of the questions with some clarity, which I appreciated. After I'd built a little rapport with him I asked him specifically, "I see package levels ranging from a few dollars to several hundred, I want to make sure I am getting a good return from my investment...that being said, if you were in my position, what package level would you invest in"?

This is where things went down hill from this guy. Instead of providing me with a candid, honest answer, he gives me this canned sales person reply, "Well if I was in your position, I'd want the most exposure, so our most expensive package is what I would choose". At that point I thanked him for his time and indicated that's all I need to know. What happened?

This guy didn't understand what sales is all about - it's about helping people purchase what's in their best interest, not pushing a product or service on them. Once I identified this guy really didn't have my best interest in mind, I cut him off - I could get a sales pitch on the web site, what I wanted was a consultant.

Action item:
Put this story in the context of your freelancing business.
When prospects call up, are you listening to what they want and providing solutions or are you pushing a product or service?

Like the post? Share it with someone else!

Creative Freelancers: Cutting through the "B.S." of Client Communication

There's a secret corporate language that creative freelancers are not taught in school, and sadly, many of them never pick up. Understanding this puzzling language spoken by the elusive potential client is must. It would be nice if people just said what they really feel, but in the business world they don't, so you need a way to translate from "B.S." business speech to ordinary language. I've studied this for years, so I've gotten fairly adept at it. A designer in AZ shared this email with me and wanted to know what it said...

"I definitely do want to keep the opportunities open to work with you when our existing resources cannot handle the project scope. After many years of developing my resources, independent relationships, keeping my ears & eyes open to new talent like you, is very important. Looking forward to our next gathering."

What this really says:
Notice that the prospect indicates that she will be open to work with you ONLY when her existing resources cannot handle the project scope? That's indicating that they'll probably only contact you once they've exceeded their existing capacity with their current designers. Not a good sign.

The second sentence is just filler, she tries to throw in a nice compliment, but it really doesn't have any value in being there.

The last statement indicates that she's looking forward to the "next gathering" - but she doesn’t indicate when that's supposed to happen - this is done intentionally to give the false hope that maybe something down the line may lead to a meeting.

How to respond to this:
Based on what I am seeing here, this prospect isn't interested in moving forward. It doesn't mean that you should burn your bridge with her. Maybe send back a response saying, "I'd appreciate the opportunity to work with you, based on our conversations I believe I'd be a good fit for your clients, and I'd in fact do a better job than the designers you have on board now. If you find yourself in a position where you'd like to upgrade your talent pool, please give me a call, I'd love to show you what I can do."

What do you think of my response? Am I on or way off base?
Feel free to drop in a comment if you'd like to respond...or if you've got an experience you'd like to share.

PS - Thanks to Jeff L for his outstanding review of Being a Starving Artist Sucks.
Check it out on Amazon.com.

Money First - Files Second: How to Handle Clients Wanting Their Artwork First (Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers)

Seems like every freelancer has a story of how a client somehow got their files before forking over money - then the distressed freelancer ends up unwittingly becoming a collection agency over the next few days/weeks/years. It's unfair and it sucks, but can easily be avoided, check out what happened to me below:

Client:
"Jeremy, these look great! Can you send the final cards as individual files instead of a Zip file? I have a mac and haven't been able to un-zip files that have been sent to me in the past. If you can send them over to me by Noon that would be terrific."

Bad Response 1:
"Uhhh, okay, but can you tell me when you'll be sending the money?"

Bad Response 2:
"Not until you send me the money, that's just my policy."

My Response:
"Hey, glad you like them! I'll be happy to keep them as individual files - I know ZIP files can be a pain on the MAC. Getting these over to you by Noon doesn't sound like a problem at all. Make sure you've paid the Paypal invoice I sent over earlier, I'll make sure the files get over to within a few minutes afterwards - and we'll call this project a wrap. Great job!"

PS - If this is an area that you could use some help on, my second breakthrough book called Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers is for you. If you'd like to find out how you can perhaps get a reviewable copy, visit www.verbalkungfuforfreelancers.com. If you know of a board, group or blogger that might be interested, please forward this information on.

A Sure Way to Communicate Badly with a Client

Last week I had surgery on my right hip - ah what a fun thing to do in your 30's. While I wouldn’t recommend doing something like this for fun, I did learn some valuable lessons out of the whole experience - one of them I thought would be a great tip for this week.

After the operation I was eager to let everyone know that the surgery was a success. Sure I was still under heavy sedation but how hard is it to send an email? After a couple of days went by (I am still in the hospital bored out of my skull), I'd looked at some of the emails I had sent out: one of them went to the wrong person, another had several misspellings and a couple of the other ones made less sense grammatically than I normally do (which is scary).

I was really eager to fire off some emails to get them off of my plate and to move on to other things. When I was younger and a lot more foolish I would do the same in sending emails to clients - I'd send out emails when I was not in the right frame of mind. Often I found myself in situations where clients would shoot over a ridiculously unfair email and I'd think, "Oh, I am going to let them know how I feel right now!" This has never resulted in a good outcome - never. What again was reinforced to me is that whether you're under heavy sedation - or you're pissed off, you should refrain from communicating with clients/people. Take a few hours to ensure you're thinking clearly and then send away.

PS - Thank you to Mark in CT for pointing out that some of the links to the products page aren't working correctly yet. You can still of course order the book from Amazon.com with no trouble, I'll fix the other links as soon as this Vicodin wears off later today - for your troubles Mark, I'll make sure I hook you up - thanks again my friend!

A Freelancer Designer's Can't Miss Response to "Can You Go Cheaper?"

I've found that all freelancers have to deal with this type of "I'd like to work with you, but can you do it for less?" response at one time or another. Most handle it in one of two ways: tell the client off or cave in and reduce their price. Neither strategy is effective.

I've come up with a great response I wanted to share with you...this realtor drove a new Mercedes, sells million dollar homes and makes a butt-load of money - still, here's what she emailed me:

"I need to keep my costs low since I have so many certifications to apply for and fees to pay for the privilege to announce that I am a luxury specialist, then the printing costs, promo & the cost of being a realtor.
 
I will work with you closely to get it done, but my budget will only allow me $XXXX in the next 4 months, even with my closings, that does not include printing. Can we see where we can make this work?"

After almost vomiting from disgust, here was my response to her:
I understand that cost is always a factor when making a decision, what I would advise clients to do however is to look at the return on their investment rather than just cost. You can certainly take your project to Kinkos and they'll do it for under $XXXX, but will you receive the service, expertise and quality that you're expecting? Of course you have to make that call.

Since you've got other expenses coming up and cost is a big factor, I'd make some more phone calls and see what else is out there. You may be able to get a junior designer or one that needs work badly to do everything for $XXXX, but they most likely will not have the equipment or expertise to handle the photo shoot. A branding package and photo shoot for under $XXXX from someone with my experience level, guarantee and testimonials is a great price, but it's important to stay within your budget - I understand.

Invest some time in looking at some other designers, and see what else is out there. Whether you work with me or not, I really did enjoy meeting you and I wish you the best of luck moving forward! If after looking around you feel I still might be a good fit, I'll be happy to break the payments up into 3 months to give you more flexibility in paying. Let me know - my schedule fills up quickly.

I guess I found it kind of funny that for someone who prided herself on providing value-added exceptional service that you can't put a price on, she was awfully cheap. Hmm, I wonder how well she'll do selling million dollar homes with with a ten dollar business brand and marketing collateral...

PS - Find this helpful? I've found that most freelancers really need extra practice in this area - if you'd like more help you’re your freelancing business, check out the other resources I have available (I've got some good info on this blog, but the good stuff can be purchased for a great deal).

Freelance Artists - What Excuse Should You Use if You're Delayed in Getting a Project Done?

Olga was kind enough to drop me a comment over the last couple of days regarding a post I'd recently written called, “Working with a Freelance Graphic Designer - From a Client's Point of View”. Essentially I'd hired on a freelance designer to help with my extra work load, and she wasn't getting things done on time (which can make things tough when I have to report back to the client). In response to my follow ups, the freelancer told me, "As an FYI, I have a full-time freelance gig and I'm taking classes at the local college as well, so I've already got a lot on my plate. Your project is very important, so please do not fret. I understand your concern, but I'm not trying to create a panic here, I'll do my best to get the work back to you asap."

As I indicated in the previous post, this didn't go over well with me, in fact it kind of honked me off since I was so clear at the beginning about not picking up the project if it was going to overextend her. In the end I amicably let her go.

Olga's question was, "What do you from both Clients and Freelancers perspective recommend to use as an explanation for a delay (and that does happen every so often doesn't it?)."

Well, first thank you for the question, Olga.

Unfortunately yes, I've met some outstandingly reliable designers, but in all honesty, many of them do not hit their deadlines. By the way, this makes an EXCELLENT selling point to a potential client if you are reliable - I show clients an exact schedule of when I'll have their project done - they love it!

In answer to your first question, when it comes to the freelancer, I've found that clients ultimately don't care what excuse is given - they want their project, and they feel mislead or cheated that the designer didn't come through on a due date that was a agreed on by both parties.

There really is no good excuse...that being said, I certainly haven't hit all of my deadlines, but what I have found helpful is to let the client know as soon as you see that you might not make your deadline. If you let a client know that you've run into some unexpected delays a few days/weeks before the project is due, you may find them to be more agreeable. If you mention that you'll be late the day the project is due, you're probably screwed...I would pray a lot and hope the client extends some grace.

PS - And in fairness to yourself and the client, make sure you don't pick up projects if you aren't sure you're going to get them done in time. I know the money is important, but it's not worth rushing through things or making yourself look bad in front of a client.

Thanks for the comments Olga and Gem...and thank you for getting this out there; hopefully we'll be able to help a lot of other freelancers who are looking for assistance.  

Ask Any of Your Freelancing Clients, They are a JOY to Work with!

I saw read Seth Godin's post today on customers, entitled "All Customers are Smarter than Average" and I had this irresistible urge to add to it.

I've been freelancing for years now and in that time I've had the privilege to work with some terrific clients...at the same time, I've worked with some that, should I say were less than ideal. In further confirming Seth's concept that all customers/clients feel they are better than average, I've found that no matter how cheap, demanding, indecisive, rude, or difficult the customer/client is, they feel as if anyone would find them a joy to work with. Unbelievable.

In truth, there have been some rare occasions where a client admitted she/he was trying to squeeze out more than what was agreed upon in the project proposal, or that funds were really low and they needed some help affording a project, but more often than not they don't recognize it. In some cases I don't think the clients cared if they were seen as unpleasant to work with, in other instances I feel they were so focused on themselves, they never realized it. Either way, this can be a challenge for freelancers.

If you're freelancing you're of course going to find great clients out there - and bad ones too.

None of these people are going to wear a sign around their neck indicating they are a good or a bad client, none of them is going to actually tell you they are a bad client, that they intend on being rude or that their crap stinks. Like Seth points out, all clients/customers are going to think they are better than average. Since we know that's not entirely true, the best way for you to handle this is to make a conscious effort over time to develop the skill of being able to read people and make sound judgments about them.

PS - Hey thanks for passing this blog along to other freelancers, even if you decide not to purchase any resources, I really do appreciate this...and make sure you check out Seth's blog as well, as a freelancer you should be checking it out regularly as well.

How Creative Freelancers Can Work with Stupid Clients

My friend Scott, in Florida wrote me, "Please write about polite ways to dump clients who are SO STUPID you just can't communicate with them."

Ahh, I feel for you my friend...dealing with the ignorant is never an easy thing to do - in fact, it's a judgment call you'll need to make early in the qualifying stage of the relationship. During your initial phone conversation with the potential client, you'll want to question them about what kind of shopping around they've done, how they found you, what they're looking for, what they're budget is, etc...What often comes to light during this crucial time in the qualifying process is how much they know or don't know about working with someone in your industry - whether you're a programmer or graphic designer.

For example, if you get someone saying, "I found you in the yellow pages, my boss just asked me to try to find a creative freelancer to work with because he'd heard from a colleague that we might need one", you've got someone that doesn't know a lot about you or your industry. This translates to you having to do a lot more work to educate the client, which you may find worth it or not worth it depending on their budget, their project, their personality and your current workload. In some cases you'll find it's worth it to work with "the ignorant" - it can be rewarding to work with and guide these people along. In other cases you'll end up pulling all of your hair out, and waste a lot of time. You'll want to make your decision early in the process: work with them or let someone else educate them.

One last but important point:
Scott used the term "stupid"; I used "ignorant", as freelancers you're going to find both sets of people. The difference between the two is that the ignorant ones will catch on once you provide them some education. For example, when it comes to auto repair, I am a bit ignorant, but I'd like to think I'd catch on if taught. Conversely, the ones that aren't the sharpest tools in the shed won't get it no matter how much time you invest in them.

Special Note - Finally made the big time, but I need your help:
Hey guys, you can now purchase the paperback version of Being a Starving Artist Sucks on Amazon.com. If you have already purchased or reviewed the eBook or spiral version, I'd like to ask you to help out bit. If you enjoyed reading the book and would recommend it to other creative freelancers, would you be open to writing a 5-15 sentence review on Amazon.com?

I know you probably have a lot on your plate already, so if you're open to helping me I'll send you my new audio mp3 collection called, The Creative Freelance Designer's MP3 Audio Success Series for free.

Once you've written and posted the review, drop me an email indicating your review is up on Amazon.com and I will send you a hyperlink where you can download the audio files, be prepared though, it's a monster file...I've got over 2 hours of content in there! Thanks for helping - I really appreciate it!

Freelance Graphic Designer Frustration: Waiting in Limbo While the Client Critiques Your Artwork

Have you ever wondered where and how your clients go when they make decisions about your projects? For most creative freelancers, this is a mystery...a black box to them. Would that include you? In essence, the designer submits the artwork and the client(s) go into some secret voting booth and talk about your project with family, friends, colleagues, etc. When they're done in the "secret booth" they report back to you what they like and what they liked changed. For 75% or more of creative freelancers, this is the approval process they know and love...well, actually there isn't a lot of love for this approach but they don't know any other way. This used to drive me nuts - I'd wait for days for a client to get back to me, when they did I couldn't believe what changes they wanted to make. I wanted to tear my hair out...but I did come up with a solution, more on that at the end.

Instead of having clients make decisions by themselves or with other people that are not really qualified to help them sort through a design project, wouldn't it be more effective to actually be a part of that approval process? What if you, as the creative freelancer, could help your client evaluate the project rather than sitting in limbo just waiting to hear back from the client?

If you've been pulling your hair out with this, check out the Creative Freelance Designer's Audio Success Series I have, in there I've included a 10 minute audio clip on "Avoiding the Revision Merry Go Round".

PS - The final version of Being a Starving Artist Sucks (paperback version) was approved, you'll be able to find it on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and a few other online locations within the next few weeks.