Being a Starving Graphic Artist Sucks: Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers: List of 100+ Client Verbal Choke Holds

Here is the complete list of all of the "Client Verbal Choke Holds*" that you'll find in the Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers book.
(See how many of these sound familiar to you - now you can actually discover how to effectively respond to these verbal traps and stand up for your rights.)

* "Verbal Choke Holds" are things that clients say or do to manipulate freelancers into doing what THEY want. They are typically rude, insensitive, unfair or greedy (or all of the above)...and they cause freelancers a great deal of grief.

My past designer gave us the raw, master digital files
My past designer did that for us for free
The other designer we worked with did it for 25% less than you
My past designer was able to get the work turned around faster
Why do I have to pay you for our initial meeting when other designers
don’t charge?
It used to take my other designer just 15 hours to get this done (This statement is usually made when you are billing hourly)
If you charge hourly does that mean I am basically giving you an open-ended check book?
Why do you charge by project rather than other designers that charge hourly?
Why is your hourly rate more than other designers I’ve talked to?
How much for a web site?
You used to charge me $800, but now you’re charging me $1000.
I thought that business cards were included in the price
I can’t afford to pay for that, but I need it done
I’d like to work with you, but can you do something about the price?
If you help us with this project we’ll be able to bring in some revenue and pay you some money
If you can give us a price break on this project, we’ll pay you extra on the next
My budget is $500, firm
I am not sure what my budget is
Is there another way we can work this out?
Is there something we can do about the price?
I am looking for someone to partner with on this project. You’ll get a portion of the profits
I’d like to work with you, but I’ve received bids from other designers and they are less expensive
Why should I pay you to design my web site when I can just get a template or go through an automated online system?
I am having several designers come in to interview. I’d like you to come in too. Are you available?
Can you send me a proposal and let me think it over?
I’d like to set up another meeting with you to talk about how you can help me
I’d just like to set up a meeting where I can learn about you and get some ideas on where to go with my business
Mock up something, and if I like it I’ll pay you
Why don’t you design something, and if we like it we’ll hire you
I am not sure now if we even need this project. Maybe we shouldn’t move forward
You’ll meet with my assistant and he or she will give me the details about you and the project later
Drop off your mock-ups or sketches and we’ll decide later if we want to hire you
Why don’t you look at what I have and what my competitors offer, and then give me some ideas?
Let me talk to my business partner before we move forward with a commitment to hire you
Before I hire you for this project, I’d like to call some of your past clients and talk to them about you
I noticed you haven’t been in business that long
I just need you to work up some prices for me and I’ll decide later
I always get 3-5 price quotes before making a decision (or I am still looking around at other options). When I’ve made up my mind I’ll let you know
I’d like to see more examples than what you have on your web site.
Can I see more?
I am interested in using your services, but I am going to have to put it on hold for the time being. I have some money coming in and as that happens, I will probably use your services down the road.
Client does not respond at all after you’ve sent over a proposal. Even after following up, the client doesn’t return phone calls or emails
I’d like to get together and just talk about this project a little bit. When would be a good time?
I just found out that my grandfather is very ill and I need to pay for plane tickets back home. We need to put the project on hold until I’ve had a chance to sort things out here and find enough money to pay you
I am not Jewish, I am just spiritual. Is that going to be a problem?
We know a lot of people that we can refer to you. Give us a deal and we’ll refer all of our friends to you
After we get rolling with this project, I’ll be sending you tons of business
I am going to be telling everyone I know about your talents and skills
Keep doing good work for me, and I am going to keep you busy for a long time
The contract is too long. Can you just send me a summary?
I can get the contract over to you by the end of next week. Can you get started working today?
I can’t get to a fax machine, or my fax machine is broken. Can I just verbally agree to the contract?
We’ve never signed a contract before. We don’t normally sign contracts. Why do we need to sign a contract if we trust each other?
I haven’t had time to go through your contract
I know we’ve been a little slow getting the changes back to you, but you’ll still be able to complete the project by next Tuesday — right?
I need you to get the project done early because I have a trade show coming up
That won’t work. I need to have the project back to me by Friday at noon. Or... Why do I have to pay a rush charge?
You’ve always been able to get this to us in 3 days in the past, so I figured we’d be okay
How long will my brochure take? When can you have this back to me?
I can fax you over some of the content. Is that okay?
I have a CD with the materials you need on it. Should I drop it off, or can you swing by my office and pick it up?
I am not sure what format these files are in, but I’ll send you what I have
My original files are in Word and Excel. Can you work with them?
We’re going to need to put the project on hold for a while
I found a lot of these pictures on the Internet. Will you be able to incorporate them into the project?
I am just not sure which logo I want
I know we’ve gone through this several times, but I still have more changes for you to make
I need you to make some “quick” updates to my web site
Can we try out some other concepts before I approve this design?
I am not sure what I want, but if you create it I’ll let you know
I think I might want you to go in a different direction
It looks like it needs something else. Can we add blinking text and flashing lights?
We have to wait for Judy, our marketing manager to approve it before we can give you the go ahead. Everyone here was okay with it, but she might like to see some changes
I was talking to my neighbor, and he said we should change this. Can we?
I changed my mind; I’d like to go back to the way that it was
I’d like to make just a few more changes, and then we might be good
I don’t have time to proof the advertisement. I am sure it’s fine; go ahead and send it to the printer
I know we approved the current design, but we asked a few of our friends and they have suggested some changes
Can you contact my web host and help me sort this out?
Will I be able to contact you after hours or on weekends if I need to?
I don’t have the materials you need, so you will have to get the files from my previous freelancer
Can you come in for a meeting at my office?
Can you take a look at the text on my web site and make any corrections that you see?
I have some pictures to use in the project. Can you scan them in or do some retouching?
It’s pretty easy to upload video to the internet, right? Can you do that for me?
Can you help me figure out why my computer is crashing?
Can we swap out some of the stock photos you used in my project?
Hey, you deal with computers, can you tell me why my laptop can’t connect to the internet?
In your “infinite wisdom” as a talented freelancer, I’m guessing this will probably only take you about 5 minutes, right?
We pay people on the first of each month. You need to talk to the accounts payable department to get paid
I need these business cards to go to the printer today, and I’ll pay you in next month’s billing cycle
I never pay a cent until we see the final product...or, Send over the final files and we’ll issue a check
The check is in the mail; I don’t know why you haven’t received it
When my venture capital comes in, I’ll be able to get some money to you
I need to handle these bills first and then I can pay you
If I put the check in the mail today, will you be able to send out the artwork?
I can’t pay you up front. I need to be able to make payments on the balance or I have to go elsewhere
The colors on my brochure came out dull or different compared to my computer screen. What can be done about this?
My project didn’t get done when I needed it, so I don’t think I should pay for it
I need to make a change to the artwork. I know it’s been sent to the printer, but is there anything we can do?
I have a deadline, so I need you to call the printer and get them to run my job right now
What if I want to make changes to my project in the future?
I’ve already paid you for the work, so why don’t I get it?
Why do quick copy places let me have these master files but you won’t?
Can’t you show me how to makes changes and improvements to the artwork and allow me to do it myself?
I know I might not be able to make future changes, but what if I got someone else to do it?
Can I reprint my project/artwork if I want?

Can you think of some other ones you'd like an answer to?

Email me at jeremy@beingastarvingartistsucks.com, or drop a comment on the blog and ask me to respond to a specific verbal choke hold a client's put on you!