Being a Starving Graphic Artist Sucks

Killer Freelance Designer Advice: Successfully Handling the Most Frightening Networker on the Planet

I don't mean to outright scare you, but since we're colleagues I feel it's only right that I take a few minutes and warn you about an evil you will eventually encounter in promoting your freelancing business (if you haven't already)!

 Now if you're out there promoting your business through networking in the local business community (and you should be), you're eventually going to run into the most feared, most aggressive networking entity known to man. I'm talking about a hideous beast with an insatiable hunger to devour as many victims as it can - I am talking about the networking professional that peddles a multi-level marketing product (Amway, Melaluca, Juice Plus, etc...)

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try to run or hide from these people. I've seen them reach speeds up to 25 MPH in short distances in order to catch their prey. Playing dead won't help you, and becoming aggressive has left many freelancers maimed and helpless.

I know you're thinking, "So what can I do to avoid being a victim and having to either purchase this person's crappy products or become a distributor like them!?!?!" I have figured out a way to get around these hard line sales people with some bulletproof excuses that will keep you, your wallet and your sanity safe (so you can focus on networking your freelancing business instead of always having to deal with these people's sales pressure).

Bulletproof excuses:

• MLM networker sells beauty products - say you have sensitive skin, it's taken you years to find products that work & feel good, and you're not going to switch.
• MLM networker sells food or drink products - say you have a sensitive stomach that gets aggravated easily (for me this is true). Say you've been to see the gastroenterologist and that she/he has recommended you steer clear of these types of products because the tend to aggravate your heartburn or queasiness.
• MLM networker sells cleaning products - say that you're happy with the cleaning products you have because they don't cause any allergic/negative effects with your pets, children or family members who often visit you. Say you have a friend that often visits that's overly sensitive to products and that the products are using now are working fine so there's no need to try something new.

Well, the list can go on and on, and I am sure you're starting to see a pattern with each example. The key in this working is to have a well-planned out reason why trying the new product isn't in your or your friends/family's best interest. Saying, "I am not sure", "I kind of like what I have now", or "Well, let me think about it" is only going to make these MLM salespeople more aggressive.

Before you join a new networking group have an idea of what types of MLM products are popular (check the web), and take a few moments to think of how to gently tell these people that it wouldn’t make sense to try their product. If you don't, you'll find yourself more occupied with how to avoid these people rather than focusing on promoting your freelancing business.

Killer Freelance Graphic Design Advice: It's Important to You, So Why Don't Your Clients Give a Crap?

There's often a large misconception among aspiring freelancers either coming out of design school or learning on their own about what clients are really looking for.

Not having a clear idea of what your clients really do...and don't care about is like trying to pin the tail on the donkey - blindfolded of course, in a room the size of a football field.

Kind of a crazy example of this would be to tell clients that you are a star track athlete, you've sung with Creed or you're the only one in your group of friends that can down a frosty in 30 seconds (in the hopes they'll be so impressed they'll hire you) - both nice accomplishments, but your client isn't going to care about either of them. 

When freelancers are unsure about what their clients care about they end up wasting a lot of time talking about and promoting features/benefits in marketing that are not only ineffective, but are largely ignored by clients. Here are the top 9 features/benefits that freelancers care about...that their clients don't.

1) Where you got your art degree
In over 10 years as a freelance designer I've never had a client ask me where I got my degree from. Maybe in the 90's it was a big deal, today it's irrelevant - if you can do the work, you can get hired.

 2) If you're Adobe Certified
Back in the late 90's I remember this being kind of a big deal - nice idea for Adobe to build revenue, but it never caught on...at least for the few hundred clients I'd worked with. Simply put, they didn't know about the certification and they wouldn’t have cared anyway.

3) How much you express yourself through design
Clients don't care guys...harsh, I know but clients don't care about your creativity, how you express yourself or how you give all to your artwork. By the way, they don't care about mine either - if it doesn't benefit your client, they don't care about it.

4) How many awards you've won
In 2007 I was asked to be on a panel of judges for the AMA's Spectrum Awards. Essentially design companies paid a fee to have their designs critiqued and ranked by the 10 of us on the panel. Some firms submitted several entries (to ensure a better chance of winning). Awards aren't going to hurt you, but to think that clients are outright looking for design firms that have won awards that most people have never heard of is a mistake.

5) How many fonts, backgrounds, textures, brushes or other goodies you've collected over the years
From just observing message boards, blogs, twitter and other social networking sites over the years I've noticed that designers are beyond "in to" getting free goodies, they're obsessed with it. Some freelancers dedicate a couple of hours a day posting where these goodies are, the rest are busy trying to download them all. Goodies like awards are nice, but clients aren't going to be dazzled by them.

6) If you have an office
There was once a time when having an office was a big deal, it added a tremendous amount of credibility, those days are all but over now. People have less time, want to save on fuel, and they know that there are thousands upon thousands of home based businesses now. I've only had a handful of clients inquire why I didn't have an office. I replied, "I could have one, but then I'd be passing along the overhead to clients like you, probably isn't worth it, is it?" That quieted them up quickly.

7) Whether you're a team of 20 or it's just you
This one reminds me of freelancers doing their best imitation of a puffer fish. Freelancers often pretend to make their company look bigger than it really is, the idea being that a client would be more impressed with a larger company. It's silly. The more I understood that clients hired me because of ME, I downplayed the whole "big corporation" image.

8) If you're using the most up-to-date version of Photoshop
I've never had a client ask what version of Adobe's CS I had, they don't care. If you ever get someone to ask you this it'll be rare and in most cases it won't be a deal breaker unless that has an unusual circumstance.

9) That you're creative
This one's a tricky one, so I've saved it for last. Clients do care if you're creatively ONLY SO FAR as if it will help them achieve their goals. If your projects look nice but you don't have any data to prove that your designs actually bring in money/customers for your clients, you're going to have a much tougher time finding clients. No, I am not saying creativity isn't something that clients don't care about, but designers way overestimate its importance in attracting clients.

Of course you may or may not agree with my list here, if you have some thoughts feel free to add a comment. The goal wasn't to get you to totally buy into my 9 items here, but just to get you to think. Did I?

The Freelancer Advice Mailbag: What Graphic Designers and Web Designers Are Asking Me:

 I have a quick question, if you have a few minutes between projects. I'm doing some brushing up on my website design/dreamweaver stuff and the design and positioning of elements has migrated from the "old" tables for laying out pages to CSS generated code. Are you finding, as someone that designs websites, that you're responsible for doing the design interface in PS and then either having to:

a) code it yourself
b) outsource it to web developers/designers who really break it apart and CSS code it.

I understand the basics of CSS and breaking the PS file into individual elements to position via CSS, but it seems that it's getting more and more complex and was wondering if you or the graphic designers you know, are having to now become more code-efficient and learn CSS and javascript or are most just outsourcing to a third party?

Some of the design jobs I've seen have advertised have required web experience with CSS, HTML which is fine, but to design and then code a complex site seem to be two different skills that employers want?
Just wondering what your take on this was?

My Response:
In deciding whether to invest more time in coding or to outsource it really depends on the direction you want to take your career. If you enjoy doing this type of work or you’re finding that the jobs you’re looking for require it, I’d invest the time. If you don’t enjoy coding and feel the client/employer won’t care if you outsource it, I’d get someone else to do it – there are a lot of folks out there that will.

Honestly, I am not a coding expert myself and I probably have a similar skill set in the area to you. I can work with HTML and CSS but I am no expert. For me, I think it all depends on where you want to take your career. I am more of a marketing guy than a programmer so I’ve outsourced a lot.

Freelance Designers: OMG, that's TMI from a Potential Client that Hasn't Even Hired You Yet

 "Awe crap, I've seen this kind of an email before", I think to myself when I first checked out the email over to the right. (If you haven't clicked on it yet, do that now so you can see it. You don't have to read the whole thing in-depth, just glance at it).

While it may look like an ordinary, friendly email, this little baby's a ticking time-bomb that needs to be handled with the utmost care. Get your bomb suits out; we've got a "live one" on our hands!

At this point I'm guessing you're either confused, think I am nuts or both. That's okay, just remember that I've been freelancing for a while now, and I know what I know...and I know that getting an email like this from someone you've never worked with before could potential spell trouble. Let's take a look shall we?

Let me step back for a second and set this up for you (you've probably been in this situation in your freelancing career before as well). I received a lengthy email inquiry from this woman I'd never met before in regards to doing some work for her (she wasn't specific about the work she wanted me to do, or when she wanted to get started and didn't leave any real contact information in her signature - I've learned over the years that all of these things are potential warning signs that the potential client is just wasting my time).

Anyway, I responded to that email (assuming that she wasn't all that serious and was just toying with the idea of making this business happen), so when I didn't hear back for a few weeks I wasn't surprised.

That brings us to the example email I shared with you at the top - yes, the "time bomb". The warning signs continue in this email, here's what concerns me (feel free to go back and look at her email to see if you agree):

• For starters, she disappeared for several weeks suggests she's not able to keep a schedule and she's got a lot of other things in her life that may make it difficult to focus on getting our projects done on time and on budget.
• She goes on and on about things that really don't and shouldn't concern me. I've had potential clients do this before, it's almost like she's trying to get me interested on a personal level in her story.
• She has a full-time J O B, which makes this a hobby she's pursuing on the side. She knows that if it doesn't work out she can still go back to the job. Hobbyists and "We're just going to see if this works" typically don't have good success rates.
• Lastly, and the biggest warning signs is that she mentions nothing about what specifically she wants me to do for her, or when she's planning on hiring me. In fact, she doesn't mention anything about budgets or timelines either. Instead she focuses on recapping things in her life that aren't relevant.

You might think I am being a bit harsh towards this woman, but again remember that I've been down this road a few times in my life. I am not suggesting that in examples like this that we as freelancers need to ignore or formally correct people that exhibit these warning signs, but we need to keep them focused (for our own sanity).

I've seen first-hand potential clients in this same situation that focus their emails on sharing their story and their struggles rather than taking action and picking up the phone and saying, "I saw your web site, I need someone to design some collateral materials, would you be interested in helping me." These people can be HUGE time-wasters, and in the end there's no guarantee you'll get hired anyway - I've found most of these people to be dreamers and not doers. Most of these people (as nice as many of them can be) eventually get distracted by something else in their life and you never hear from them again. 

So what do you do about them?
I would just steer the emails towards action, forget about the other rubbish. What specifically they would like you to do for them, when they're looking to have it done and what their budget is. No need to be rude about it, just thank them for sharing some of their story with you but focus your communication on getting things moving with a teleconference - you'll quickly find out if they're serious or not.

Bottom line: It's essential to build personal relationships with clients (we all know that's important), but these people ARE NOT CLIENTS YET - and there's a good chance they'll waste your time and not feel the slightest bit badly if things don’t work out, get them to hire you FIRST and then you can afford to invest some time in them.

Bad Design, Bad Photoshop Beatdown: The Boxing Business Card with a Black Eye

Hey guys,
Couldn't help but share this example of Bad Design/Bad Photoshop with you; a few days ago my boxing trainer showed me this card he had made years ago. Can you say, "Ouch?"

This card definitely looks like it went 2-3 rounds in the ring too long; and GOT BEAT DOWN.

When there's so much wrong with this card, where do you start?

• The "cartoonish and clipartish" look and feel
• The ridiculous white border
• The staggered and unsettling alignment of the text
• The lack of contrast
• The unusually large amount of tracking used
• The word "Personalized" is an orphan

I am sure you might have some more, but my fingers are tired from typing so I'll stop the bleeding there, but it's safe to say this card is a train wreck. I actually felt so badly for the trainer that I agreed to redesign the cards for the guy for nothing (kind of a trade since he's working with me up in the boxing ring).

To the right if you click on the thumbnail you'll be able to see what I came up with. Chris is a tough guy (like most boxers) and he wanted his card to reflect that. I did advise him that this card would probably scare both female and newbie boxers of both genders from working with him. "That's cool", he said, since he works with guys that have been boxing for a while.

Since Chris' first card was so bad, he really had no idea what would be creatively possible so he kept telling me that he wanted the same card (just front only), he just wanted the boxing gloves to be red. I responded with, "Why don't you let me come in and take some photos and see where it leads?" Fortunately he trusted me, and I'd like to think it paid off for him; he was thrilled in what I came up with; how could he not be, the previous cards looked like a middle-school student with Photoshop LE created them. 

To be fair, maybe the designer that created the first cards has improved (you never know), and perhaps this wasn't his best work and he knows it.

Actually both are true.

Embarrassingly enough; the guy that redesigned the second cards is the same guy that created the first ones (Yes, I did both).

I guess this shows that we all start somewhere in design, we all improve (hopefully) over time and that none of us should take ourselves or our skills too seriously - we were all bad amateurs at one time.