Being a Starving Graphic Artist Sucks

A Real Life Email that Screams to Creative Freelancers, "I Am a Bad Client!"

I received this inquiry in my email box several months ago, I am guessing this guy jumped on to a top job site, dug up a bunch of designer's contact info and sent out a mass email, hoping to get a few candidates to help him. With the job market kind of in the tank I am sure this guy ended up getting some poor sucker to respond to his job vacancy, but I promise you it wasn't me. No, I wouldn't fault or belittle a designer who responded to this, I'd just caution her/him that this guy sounds like a bad client to work for (there are several warning signs).

Below you'll see this guy's email in its entirety; you'll see my comments in parenthesis / italic.

Please allow this email to serve as a request for a talented, experienced Art or Design Director to redesign our firm’s website, www.Accidents-R-US.com (not really their web site). ("Please allow this email to serve as a request..."who talks like this? Sounds like someone trying to sound more important than they really are.)
Requirements:
1.  at least 5 years of experience

2.  extensive advertising and graphic design knowledge/qualifications

3.  a portfolio of work that was exclusively done by the consultant, as well as references

4.  intuition/guts/imagination (Okay, I can understand intuition and imagination for a web design project, but "guts" is an interesting word choice that leads me to believe this client really doesn't know anything about design - just a hunch).

5.  common sense (Are there a lot of people that honestly believe they don't have common sense, even of they don't. Is there really a need to list this as a requirement) ?

6.  integrity

7.  articulate/attention to detail/follow best practices.

8.  Most important (If this is the most important, why is it listed #8):  We do not wish to provide any real input or direction. (It's essential, whether they like it or not, that clients are involved in helping to establish a direction, as well as providing input throughout the project). In my mind, this eliminates a web designer because he/she would work with the ideas from either a marketing team or person. (Can someone tell me what this means? I don't get it, and in any case it doesn't sound all that positive).

I want someone that’s sharp, intuitive, has advertising savvy, and will do all of the thinking and brainstorming for me (I don't know about you, but the "I want" kind of frightens me into thinking we've got a demanding client on our hands. "Do all the thinking for me", is this guy an idiot?!? Why is this bolded)? Can you put yourself in the shoes of an injured person and then design a website for that person. (This is a question that's stated as a sentence or fact. He probably should have used a question mark, and the sentence really isn't complete). Know we have lots of content and a usability study will be completed at the beginning of the week. (This last sentence makes no sense).

If interested, please respond by email only (no phone calls, please), with a resume/portfolio, pay expectations, and anything else you believe is important.  Can you answer the question people ask us, “why should we use your services?” (This sentence makes no sense). Serious responses only. (Is it necessary to include this in there? Is he expecting non-serious responses? As if his language and ignorance wasn't enough, this statement will surely scare away a lot of designers that might have applied).

While money is a consideration, the key factor is the RIGHT PERSON to develop a long-term relationship. (Loose translation, we're not complete tight-wads, but if you're too expensive we'll move on...even if you are talented).
Your kind attention is greatly appreciated. (Lawyer lingo here I suppose...who talks like this)?

All Aboard! What a Single's Cruise from Hell and Design Contest Web Sites Have In Common

While I don’t have any problem with a company trying to set up a business model like this, you’d have to be an absolute fricken moron to want to be a part of it (as a designer).

Take this analogy for example: if you're a single guy, why in the hell would you ever want to waste time planning and driving to get on a cruise ship with 1000 passengers...and you're told AHEAD OF TIME that they'll only be 1 woman and 999 guys? Your odds are horrible.

Well, in that same light, you're odds are even worse if you're entering design contests with 200 projects available and 20,000 other registered freelancers. You're going to end up blowing 6 hours (about how much a freelancer will pour into a logo or other design project) for JUST the chance to get paid. It's pure insanity. 

 I know...I know, the contest sites will tell you that this is a great way to build your portfolio, get your feet wet and make connections. Hmmm, last I checked I couldn't pay the mortgage by building my portfolio and getting my feet wet.

Guys, you only stay in the freelancing game if YOU GET PAID.

You can enter as many "contests" as you want but unless you get paid you're not really a freelancer - you're a hobbyist.

It boggles my mind why any designer (unless they were really confused or desperate) would do this.

These contest sites don't really give a crap about clients skipping out on the deal or pulling some other stunt (which I've been told happens more than you think). Nor do they really care about copyright infringement and protecting other freelancer's work (which I KNOW happens quite a bit). These contest sites really don’t want to help designers, they just want to make money. I don’t blame them for this, they have every right to do it - just don't be fooled into thinking they are totally looking out for you as a designer - they're not. 

On the designer’s side, instead of going out and finding their own clients, I've discovered that many designers just want someone to do it for them. Instead of focusing on the things that REALLY matter in helping them to become a success, many designers waste their time twittering, message boards, IMing, and checking out Photoshop tuts. Some actually are diluted enough to believe these activities will make them a success.

 Freelancing = having to market, promote & sell. If you don’t like to, can't or won't do these things, I suggest you learn to farm.

PS – I’ve seen CrowdSpring's new sales technique (which is actually a pretty good one), on Twitter they announce a big company or celeb is crowdspringing their project. Designers start dreaming, “Hey that could be me, I have a good shot in winning this – wouldn’t it be incredible if I won?” Going back to my single’s cruise analogy – oh great, now there are 4999 guys on the boat and still only one woman.  

If you're into long shots, play the lottery. If you're serious about freelancing, drop the contest sites and develop your own clients. I have nothing against contests sites operating and promoting their business, and honestly, if designer's want to run the risk of their work going unpaid (maybe to get experience), that's cool too. I just don't want naive designers to mistakenly feel this is their ticket to fame and fortune - get out there and get your own clients, guys. 

PS - Not trying to cut on the single's cruise industry - never done it, never will. (it just made for an easy example).

Web Designers and Graphic Designers: How to Address those Unbelievably Uncomfortable Budget Questions with Clients

YOU: Let me ask you, do you have a budget you'd like me to stay within? Do you have a budget?

CLIENT: No, not really.

YOU: That's okay, I have few clients that came to me without a budget, but it's always a good idea to have one.

What I have found though is that a lot of clients have kind of an idea of how much they can spend or how much they think the project should run them...even though they're not really sure how they came up with that cost figure? Do you have a number in your head?

CLIENT: No, not really.

YOU: That's okay too, not a problem. In working with clients for almost 5 years I've found that while some have worked with a designer before, most haven't. The ones that haven't typically have about $1000 in mind for the project, if you had a number in your head it might have been less than or more than that, right?

I've found that on the low end, you'll be able to have one of these projects done for as little as $500 by a student or struggling designer. I have a few I can refer you to, but I honestly don't feel you're going to like the quality and service you're going to receive. Clients have often told me the trouble with this route is that their focus on designing something that their design colleagues would be impressed with, not necessarily something that your customers would even understand or be attracted to - the result is your sales suffer and you end up feeling you wasted your time and money. Does that make sense?

CLIENT: I suppose.

YOU: On the other end of the spectrum, you've got designers charging upwards of $3500 for the same project. Make no mistake these designers are talented, but I don't know any small business that has $3500 to drop on something like this, do you?

 I am priced right in the middle of these two extremes, at $1500 my clients have found they get an outstanding value by not having to pay an exorbitant price, and they always comment that they got a good return on their investment and their customers rave about what I've come up with.

If I was able to get you the same great results for your project and still keep the price between $1250 and $1750 is that something that would be comfortable for you.

CLIENT: Yes that might be something we can work with.

Like the way this was worded? Check out my Verbal Kung Fu for Freelancers book – the entire text is set up this way.

Killer Freelance Graphic Design Advice: How NOT to Blow It When a Client Comes Knocking

While it's not directly related to graphic or web design, here's a marvelous example of how to lose potential clients and run your business into the ground (sounds fun doesn't it?)

Actual Inquiry from Prospective Client:
"Hi Sue, I know you through James Smith, he invited me your opening a few weeks ago (congrats on that). I exercise daily but my wife & I eat badly and don't cook, I was interested in learning about your food plan. Before I try eDiets or Nutrisystem I figured I'd try you first since James spoke highly of you."

Actual Inquiry from Prospective Client:
"Thanks for reaching out to me. Give me a call at 602-555-5555 to discuss your goals and objectives and let's see how we can support you.
Thanks, Sue"

So what's the big problem with Sue's response? Hmmm, I guess I should first ask, "Do you have an issue with Sue's response or does it sound pretty good to you?" I do.

Sue's setting herself up for failure and unfortunately most freelancers take Sue's approach. Here she has an interested potential client that's looking for a service that she possibly can provide, AND the potential client's been referred over by a friend - sales pros would call this a "hot prospect" because there's a significant chance Sue should be able to capture the client's business.

Sue didn't.

While the potential client was interested initially, other things kind of got in the way; he got busy and distracted by other things in his life and just didn't get around to calling her. Sue was prompt in her response, she was professional and even seemed warm in her email back to the potential client, yet she lost the business.

How to Ensure Clients Don't Get Away:
What this all boils down to is initiative, more specifically, the freelancer/business owner taking the initiative if a potential client contacts them.

 This type of thing happens all of the time: a potential client that seems interested contacts us (freelancers/business owners), they intend on following up but they get busy, get distracted and often don't end up doing anything. In recognizing this happens some...I mean pretty much ALL of the time, what would have been much approach for Sue to take would have been:

"Thanks for reaching out to me. It sounds like I might be in a good position to help you. If you shoot me back a phone number and a time you'd like me to call, we can talk about your objectives and let's see how I can support you. Thanks, Sue"

While the potential client is still charged with the next move, keep in mind they've already emailed once so they probably will be comfortable and able to do it again. Give this approach a try, I've tried it over and over again and it's provided some great clients that might normally have been lost.

PS - If you were wondering, I wasn't the freelancer in this example, I was the potential client.